Impenetrable Obscurity

Hi, 

It's been a minute, i almost do not recognize you no more, you know some days back we had an encounter and i almost mistook you for the other guy. So i have been thinking about all the things you prepared me for, especially with the way society has given nuance to the promises you made to me the last time we saw. 

I need clarity on the things that  might have been forced on me through socio-education engagements, i feel i do not know myself no more or maybe i never did know myself. I feel i have deviated from our initial plans to create an evident path way which futuristic descent would trail. I need to know if religion really is the key to having a good life or faith the way to making the best out of life. I wish to know if you really had a contractual agreement with a much higher being who enlivened me. I wish to know if i have naively followed social construct in the bid to fight much greater social woes. I wish to know if i really am a product of divinity, evolution or illumination.

You know i have believed for so long that every leader is a representative of a much larger cluster of the society. I have also once believed  that every leader is a representative of God on earth or maybe because i have been made to understand that priests are leaders who should be followed blindly because let's face it, we follow the spiritual provisions blindly even though they are deeply rooted in historical precedence that were told as tales even to our forefather's fathers. I wish to know if i am the one seeing the world wrongly or the world is seeing me in the wrong light. I want to know if judges actually have the right to sentence a man to death even though an holy book strongly advised against killing or judging one another. I want to know who exactly is faithful, i want to know who deserves our faithfulness,  i want to see beyond the impenetrable obscurity of life and what comes after. 

I have tried to develop affection beyond the immediate family you made for me, i have tried to love as it is called here among us; pardon me because i have lost touch with the language of our knowing. I wish to know if there is truly an essence of love or if we can just randomly procreate for racial continuity. 

Fate! Oh Fate! what have done? I feel we have failed you, i feel we derailed from what you had planned for us, now i know what is ahead of us as against the principle you have set out. I now know death is inevitable, i now know marriage is inevitable, i know procreation is expected of us all. Are these all part of your big plans for mankind or we have succeeded in twisting the plot of even what you cannot control.

Yours Confusedly 

N.A